A breakup is something that unfortunately all of us will inevitability experience at one point or another. It’s important to realise that it’s normal to feel sad and that being hurt is ok. No break up is ever nice but with these tips and tricks, you’ll be back out on the dating scene before you know it.

I’m no love guru but I am a girl who’s had her heart broken and I did manage to pull through stronger than ever. So if I aim for anything today it would be to have you finish reading this post feeling like a strong, independent woman who does not need a man (or of course, a lady if you swing that way).

break up

You may also be interested in: 8 Reasons Why Being In Love Is The Best Feeling In The World

How To Successfully Get Over A Break Up Like A Grown Ass Woman

Talk About How You Feel:

Making sure you give yourself time to grieve is probably the most important stage of getting through heartache. It sucks, there’s no doubt about it and it’s important to understand that you’re allowed to be sad.

It’s extremely important to surround yourself with people who make you realise your worth. By this, I don’t mean jump straight on Tinder and seek the attention you feel that you’re missing out on. But instead surrounding yourself with friends and family. If it wasn’t for my best friends and my mum during the time of my break up I would not have made it through.

Many a day and night I spent crying on the shoulders of my friends and that’s perfectly fine. They dealt with my misery, listened and let me get it all out of my system. If you have friends like this in your life don’t ever let them go because they are so special.

Make Sure To Let Go Of Any Hurt or Anger:

You’ve cried for a week straight but now it’s time to accept. Although, that’s easier said than done now is the best time to let go off any bad feelings you once had. That does not mean that what they may have done to you is acceptable but it does mean that it’s time to move on.

When you experience angry during the break up of a relationship you are ultimately just causing yourself unnecessary stress. Wasting energy trying to determine whose fault it is, or who you can blame as a result. Just remember that no matter who’s at fault, blaming yourself, your ex, or anyone else won’t change what’s happened.

Cut Off Contact For Good – It’s Not Going To Help Anyone:

Regardless of the reason behind your breakup, I always think a time frame of no contact is extremely beneficial. A quick text here or a short call there to see how they’re doing is not going to help you. You may feel that speaking to them is the only thing you want and need but I promise you, it will cause more heartache than you realise.

Ever heard of the no contact rule? No? Well, let me introduce you.

break up

See The Positives Of Your Break Up And Embrace Your New Freedom:

You have no one to answer to anymore, you’re a free woman! Get out their and experience anything and everything you never got to experience before.

Feeling lonely? Feel like you have a void to fill? Finding the perfect match is not going to make that feeling go away. The only way to change that is to embrace yourself and discover what you’re really about.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely having someone to go out there and experience new things with but you don’t need them. Learning to be happy alone is one of the most important lessons you could teach yourself and If you’re able to truly understand yourself it won’t matter whether you’re with 1, 10 or 100 people.

long distance relationship

Self Reflect And Discover Your True Self:

There’s never been a better time to go and discover your true self. You’ll be surprised what a breakup can make you see. Stuff that you were oblivious to before will all of a sudden appear. So get yourself out there and go ahead and make yourself feel good. Treat yourself to a manicure or a new outfit because you know what they say, if you look good you feel good.

Get Yourself Back Out There:

Last but not least, don’t stay single forever. Putting yourself back out there can be extremely tough but when you’re ready, you’ll know. Make yourself open to meeting new people but don’t stress if it doesn’t happen straight away. The best things come when we least expect them so don’t worry, your man is out there and he’s coming to find you.

Not finished reading yet? You May Also Be Interested In: How To Overcome Insecurities In A Relationship

Have you ever been through a tough breakup and pulled through the other side? Make sure to let us know how you managed to do it in the comment section below. Everyone loves a good break up story!


  1. lolitambonita
    April 8, 2019 / 4:31 pm

    To me letting go of the anger was the biggest and first step to rebuilding my life after a break up. No one needs to carry that shit around Haha.

    Lola Mia x

    • April 8, 2019 / 5:39 pm

      Very true my love! Who needs that! Better off letting it go for sure! Thanks for reading Lola Mia x x x

  2. April 8, 2019 / 4:42 pm

    These are fab tips! I think seeing the positives is a really key one. I totally get that it’s hard in that situation, but there’s a reason the relationship ended, so you can focus instead on the new freedoms you’ve been awarded!

    Rhianna x

    • April 8, 2019 / 5:40 pm

      Thank you lovely, I’m glad you enjoyed! And Oh 100%! I couldn’t agree more with you 😊 thanks for reading x

  3. April 8, 2019 / 4:42 pm

    Great post! I’ve only ever had one pretty horrible break up – I was an absolute MESS for a week or so however I was quite young (about 17). I think after that initial period though, I handled it pretty well and ended up having the BEST few months of my life when I was single! Thankfully the break up after that came to a natural end and my ex and I are still really good mates and my now-boyfriend often hang out with him and his girlfriend and have game nights, which is lovely because he really was one of the loveliest and sweetest people I knew so I would have been devastated if he was out of my life completely.


    • April 8, 2019 / 5:45 pm

      Oh that’s so lovely to hear you know. I think it’s great when you can be mature and understand that just some things aren’t meant to be and that doesn’t mean you are both horrible people. That’s really really great! I too have only ever had one tough breakup (which id never like to relive lol) thanks for sharing your story Jen! That’s really cool x x x

  4. April 8, 2019 / 5:21 pm

    Yes yes YES! I’m still getting over a breakup that happened a few months ago. I go through these cycles of feeling fine and then bawling my eyes out in the shower the next day. Agh. Definitely had to work on that “no contact rule”, but I’m doing it! I’m focusing on my goals and where I’m going and that helps me alot. When I feel accomplished and proud of where I’m headed it really helps take my mind off the breakup and lets me know that I’m gonna be ok. Great post and excited to read more from you!

    • April 8, 2019 / 5:55 pm

      Oh bless you lovely! I understand how hard it is and definitely not what you’re currently going through! I have had one break up but it was bloody tough! One little thing I want to say about your message tho. It shines through how positive you are being! You’re a lot stronger than you probably realise! Wishing you so much luck lovely! You got this 😊😁❤️

  5. John Aiwone
    April 8, 2019 / 5:40 pm

    Coming from a man and I agree with all of these points Ash! Very well-thought out. I see a lot of people bouncing from one relationship to another (quite easily frankly) and I wonder whether they’re doing more damage than good with such short-term fixes. The fact that you mentioned giving yourself time to heal from the pain and heartache lends more towards that.

    Love this! Hope women (and the odd guy or two) reading this take something from your post.

    Johnny | Johnny’s Traventures

    • April 9, 2019 / 10:12 am

      Oh, thank you so much Johnny! Really appreciate you taking the time to read my post 🙂 To be honest, I wish I focused it at both women and men because I know everyone can take something from this! I’m glad you agree and enjoyed this little read!

  6. April 12, 2019 / 9:16 am

    Excellent advice, Ashleigh. This is invaluable information for people who are going through their first break ups.
    We definitely grieve for the ex partner, but I like the idea of looking at it as a positive. I have a full plan in place for if my current partner and I split up – morbid, but it’s there so I don’t wallow.

    Thanks for posting!
    George –

    • April 17, 2019 / 9:28 am

      No not morbid at all! I like that! I think you’re super sensible and just shows how confident you are within yourself and your life. I love that! Thanks so much for reading 😊😊😊😊x

  7. Josie
    April 25, 2020 / 6:28 pm

    Great tips and tricks here. You are a very strong woman! 😘

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