A good relationship doesn’t just happen, it takes time, patience and two people who will never give up on one another. These are the types of relationships that are good for you and if you’re lucky enough to find this, don’t ever let it go.
I wouldn’t say I was a serial dater or even, in fact, had a great deal to do with the opposite sex. But, I will say I have experienced different types of partners and I know what relationships are worth fighting for
Insecurities in a relationship are often experienced by individuals who don’t value themselves as a person. Like myself, you may have the most perfect other half but even still I sometimes let insecurities get the better of me.
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LEARNING TO TRUST
Trust can take a very long time to build up and only seconds to break down. I’ve decided to put this one first because I think it’s one of the most important parts of any relationship. What’s a relationship without trust? absolutely nothing but constant overthinking and unhappiness. In order to have an happy and healthy relationship you need trust.
No matter who you are or what kind of life you’ve lived prior, we all have a past. Whether you’ve had your own trust broken in a past relationship or you’re currently working through childhood traumas. The reality is no body is perfect and we’ve all had our trust tested at some point.
The way I see it is if someone hasn’t given you a reason not to trust them, don’t assume. There is no point wasting hours a day playing scenarios over and over again in your head. More than likely you know deep down they aren’t true (unless of course, you have reason to believe otherwise)
BUILD UP YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE
Most insecurities come from the individual not seeing their own value. You are beyond amazing in your own way and there’s no one quite like you. Although there may be many people with similar attributes and personality traits in this world you have to remember, you are you. You are unique and this is something you should be really proud of.
I think as humans we forget that nobody is forcing our other halves to be with us. You’ve already done the hard part by winning them over so why worry now. They clearly like you and have chosen to be with you for a reason so believe in yourself. You are more than good enough for your partner and if they tell you otherwise it’s them who needs to go.
STOP COMPARING TO EVERYONE ELSE AROUND YOU
This is potentially the most harmful thing you could ever do to yourself. No matter if it’s in a relationship or life in general. Is being like everyone else really going to make your life better and happier? the answer is no.
Social media is fantastic for many reasons but with apps like Instagram & Pinterest, they come with their downsides. We are forever surrounded online by other couples who seem to portray the most “perfect” relationship. Well, I’m sorry to disappoint you but that doesn’t exist. People may post photos of their amazing lifestyles but remember, they only show you what they want you to see. They aren’t going to be posting pictures of their partners dirty pants on the bathroom floor now are they?
And they are definitely not going to be recording and sharing their arguments!
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LEAVE THE PAST IN THE PAST
I do like to believe this is something that comes with maturity but let’s be honest, we’re all guilty of bringing up the past at some point or another.
We are all human beings, we all experience feelings and we will all feel emotions. I think it’s extremely important to accept the fact that your partner may have loved someone else before you. This does not make them a bad person and does not mean they don’t love you as much or even more.
It’s also worth noting that people can change so try and not judge your partner on what they were like in past relationships. 16 year old you would have thought and acted completely different to 26 year old you. This is very similar to how relationships work and it’s important to remember you live and you learn.
DON’T FORGET TO LOVE YOURSELF
Understandably being loved is a fantastic feeling but having a girlfriend/boyfriend isn’t everything. It is so important to focus on your own happiness before even considering bringing someone else into your life. Ever heard of the saying “No one will ever love you unless you learn to love yourself first” I can’t stress how true this is.
Spend some time discovering who you truly are, find out your talents, hobbies, and passions. Once you know exactly who you are you can let go of those nasty insecurities and get ready to share the love with someone else.
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