2018 is finally upon us all and I do apologise for being 12 days late to the celebrating but I’ve spent the last few days, relaxing, partying, and working. I’ve finally decided its time to make a reappearance and get back into blogging as I was doing so well just before Christmas. Every year I try to start the 1st on a positive note but sometimes (most times) it’s just not that easy. New year, new me but in reality, it’s a fake sense of achievement and everything goes back to the same daily grind within a few hours. Although I was lucky enough to have spent new years with an amazing bunch of people that I am extremely grateful to have in my life, things just haven’t been all that great recently. I like to think I am an honest person and for anyone who has previously read my posts, you will notice I like to talk and about the good just as much as the bad. I live by the statement “Life is 100% what you make of it” but sometimes your mind gets the better of you and that is ok.
I have had a few really weird weeks recently and in all honesty, I don’t even know how to explain it. I have just felt so confused and spacious as if I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. One of the worst feelings in the world is feeling unwanted and not good enough for anyone and I think that’s how I feel. I wake up every day and live the same routine and I feel like I’m wasting my life but have no answer in order to change it. I know I have just started university and I’m extremely proud of myself for going back into education after so long, I just can’t help but feel like I need more in life. Deep down I know I have so much going for me and so much to look forward to but It’s the waiting for it to happen that gets me down. I don’t mean to sound big headed here but I have so many goals and aspirations in life that I should be happy and excited but I’m not and I don’t understand why.
2018 is going to be the year I attempt to get myself together and start to enjoy the simple things in life. By no means is this going to be an easy ride and will probably be one of the hardest journeys I go on. It just reaches the point that you think I can’t live like this any longer and I’m fed up with always being miserable and depressive. I want people to notice me for the smart, happy, adventurous Ashleigh that I know I am deep down. I have to learn to accept that the past is the past and everything happens for a reason, I will not be the first to go through these moments and I won’t be the last. My time of happiness will come when I least expect it and I want to be happy in myself to realise when it comes along.
The way I see it is that sometimes you’ve got to take the advice that you give to others yourself. I know I haven’t quite got my own life together but If I can give anyone feeling the same just one bit of advice it would be to take it easy. Life can get extremely tough at times but you just have to step back, breathe and take it one day at a time. If you have a bad day just remember that’s not a bad week, month, year or life. Every day you wake up and open those beautiful eyes of yours remind yourself that it is a fresh start. Tomorrow will be your fresh start and I want you to wake up and feel more positive than you have ever felt before. Take everything with a pinch of salt and don’t expect because expectations only set you up for disappointment.
I hope and pray everyone receives the happiness they deserve and desire this year. if life is not going the way you had hoped, only you can change and steer it in the direction you want and need. You only have one life so live that lifeas happily and as wisely as you possibly can.