Dear Luke,

My darling Luke, I can’t believe it’s November already. 1 year ago, everything was fantastic in both of our lives. You had just started your dream course studying graphic design and I had just come back home from traveling. We had been fortunate enough to have been introduced to one another before everything was cut short. Our story had only just begun.

It was very early days for us both when it happened but I liked to believe that what we had was good. We were definitely heading in the right direction and I was so excited to see where things went. We had both recently just come out of long term relationships. Neither relationship was great and we both said we didn’t realise that there was better out there until we had met each other.

I remember the first time you came and spoke to me at work. You shook my hand and introduced yourself, “Hi, I’m Luke and I’m your team leader, it’s lovely to meet you Ashleigh” Hahaha, this still makes me laugh to this day. You took your job so seriously and not going to lie, you were the most irritating guy to work with ever.

Our very first shift together even got people talking, I remember everyone being like “oh look at Ashleigh and Luke” “There will be a new Sainsburys couple soon just you wait and see” I won’t lie I absolutely loved the attention especially when you never denied any of it. I knew from the start that there was something special about you and I knew we would be even more special together.

After a few weeks…

After a few weeks of talking and flirting at work. The weekend came and everyone from work was heading for a night out in town. Unfortunately, you and I were stuck doing the late shift.

I was working till 8 pm and you were there till 10:30 pm. I kept pestering you all evening saying “please come out after work” and “It would be so good if you did”

I didn’t want to come across as needy but at the same time I wanted you there more than anything. You replied, “I can’t, I’m working till 10:30 pm and I haven’t got any money at all”.

Which surprised me more than ever when someone came and put there freezing cold hands on my back as I was stood waiting at the bar. I turned around and who winks at me? Mr Luke Mumford the boy who was working late and had no money at all.

After you had passed away, I found out from your best friend that you begged her to lend you money all because you wanted to see me. It would have been the first time we had a chance to spend time together outside of work. It absolutely melts my heart to think you went through all that effort for me.

From this point…

From this point, we hit it off. We spent so much time together, here, there and everywhere. We met each other’s families and friends and everything was going great. My mum absolutely idolised you and even told me herself that you were a keeper and she was not far from wrong.

I loved spending time with your mum and getting to know your brother as well. I knew you were both extremely close, so what made you happy, made me happy too. As much as I felt sorry for your mum, it was always so entertaining when you and Adam used to gang up on her at the dinner table. Although she definitely got her revenge when she pulled out the photo album and you practically run away crying haha! what a cute little baby you were.

I have so many great memories with you Luke, I wouldn’t even know where to begin. You were always a true gentleman and I can’t say any guy has come close to the dates you took me on. There were no typical Nando’s dates with you my dear. I remember when you took me to that old thatched-roof restaurant in the countryside that had candlelight tables, I almost died.

You were so thoughtful and so romantic, always trying to please everyone around you.

You were the naughtiest…

You were the naughtiest cheekiest boy I knew. My last memory of you before you left my house that night was when I walked you to the door to say goodbye. You slapped my bum and ran down my driveway shouting “either come and catch me now or you’ll have to tell me off later” That was the last time I saw you.

Having that memory as our last memory just goes to show how much of a happy and funny guy you were, never ever failed to make me laugh. Another great example of your cheekiness is when you somehow got me to sign myself up for a 9-hour shift on a Saturday, just so you could see me. I hated work but I literally came in just for you.

letter to my boyfriend who passed away

How on earth did you manage that?

I just genuinely can’t believe it’s been a whole year now since we lost you. It most definitely hasn’t been the easiest of rides. Then again, I like to think I’ve done really well since and I hope you are proud of me. In fact, I know you are proud of me. Having never really experienced losing someone so close before you, I can’t deny it’s such a strange feeling.

Although you are gone I have many days where I feel you are still here. I like to believe you do look down on us all. It’s ridiculous but I find myself talking to you all the time and I know you listen.

Not a single day goes by where I don’t miss you or even think about you. You were the most fantastic guy I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I’m sure you already did but I just want you to know I did adore you. We didn’t exactly get to share the longest amount of time together but I will treasure the time I were fortunate enough to have.

Thank you for being a part of my life and showing me what true happiness felt like.

Yours Faithfully,


a letter to my boyfriend who passed away

Not only was Luke my boyfriend but an amazing friend, brother, son and person in general.

He was also voted Lad of the week by the Ladbible. This then led to him being voted Lad of the year 2017. If you would like to read his story I will share the link with you here.

He was a great guy who did some great things in his short life.


  1. November 8, 2017 / 3:07 pm

    This was so heartbreaking to read but it always nice to think and look back on the all the happy memories, credit to you for sharing this πŸ’œ

    • November 8, 2017 / 5:25 pm

      Thank you very much lovely! I feel like this was maybe a way of me getting all my emotion out and trying to see the good rather than the bad 😊 thank you for reading, I appreciate it lots πŸ’•

  2. November 9, 2017 / 7:37 am

    I’ve seen you mention this before, but never in so much detail. I can’t imagine what it must be like to go through this. I’ve often said that in my life, I’ve experienced all of the pain and heartache that goes with relationships, but very little to none of the happiness and joy and love and good times. But I’ve never been through anything quite like this. Thank you for sharing, and for being honest. I don’t know what to say, really, but I’m here if you ever need someone to talk to. You know that.

    • November 9, 2017 / 8:15 am

      Thank you for your comment! I think for me this is my way of dealing with it all, instead of dwelling Id rather reminisce the good times and remember him for that instead! But thank you love, I know you are xxx

  3. November 23, 2017 / 7:10 am

    Tears streamed down my face reading this. I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m glad you guys have such happy memories. ❀️❀️

    • November 23, 2017 / 10:46 am

      Thank you sweetie! I think that’s the best thing to do, think about the good and happy memories and try not to dwell on the sad πŸ˜ŠπŸ’•πŸ’—

  4. November 30, 2017 / 10:52 pm

    This was heartbreaking to read but so beautifully written. I’m sorry for what you’ve had to go through <3

    • November 30, 2017 / 10:57 pm

      Thank you for taking your time to read 😊 and I really appreciate you comment! It’s nice to treasure and remember to good times πŸ’•

      • November 30, 2017 / 11:02 pm

        Yes definitely, it’s admirable how you’re able to reflect in such a positive way πŸ™‚

  5. December 6, 2017 / 4:32 pm

    β™₯ I’m so sorry for your loss! Thank you for sharing your story with us

    • December 6, 2017 / 4:56 pm

      Thank you for taking the time to read! Means a lot to me πŸ˜ŠπŸ’ž

  6. April 2, 2018 / 5:35 pm

    Wow what a touching story. I admire u for writing about it. Ive lost a few women that I dated, and its very hurtful. I just thank God for allowing me them to be apart of my life and creating great memories! Great post!

    • April 2, 2018 / 5:38 pm

      Thank you for your comment, very sad but true! Losing anyone is hard but you are definitely right about god. I thank him for allowing me to be part of his life. Have to treasure the good memories for sure. X x x

  7. Julia
    July 29, 2018 / 12:21 pm

    This was so sad but also so touching and heartwarming to read, Luke sounds like such a thoughtful, sweet person and you two obviously had an amazing time together πŸ™‚

    Julia // The Sunday Mode

    • August 1, 2018 / 8:41 am

      Thank you for your comment Julia, I appreciate you reading! It’s nice to try and focus and appreicate the good memories shared rather than dwelling on sadness.

      Thanks again x x x

  8. October 4, 2020 / 11:02 am

    This is one of my favourite posts you’ve written, I love the love story you and Luke shared. I can’t imagine what it’s like to lose someone you love so much. I’m so glad you were able to find love again, you’re such a beautiful person and deserve everything in the world xxxx

    • October 4, 2020 / 6:18 pm

      Thank you so much Rach πŸ™‚ you’re such a lovely friend xxxx

  9. November 9, 2020 / 7:35 am

    Great article. you have written heartbreaking article. thanks for sharing.

    • November 23, 2020 / 8:03 pm

      I couldn’t thank you enough for your comment. Thank you x

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